This Human Life

I know the moment will come. 

I will draw my last, my final

Uneventful breath. My eyes will close 

And never reopen. I will have already expelled the last goodbye

These lips will ever spit out. 

The beating of my heart will give

One last sputter until my internal crimson rivers

Eventually cease their mortal flowing. From there they will dry out

And the riverbeds will be swept away like crumbs, as if my vivacity were nothing

But a dream of some Vague Being, a shadow in some faraway desert land, 

Still yet shielded from Death’s scythe.

Years later, buried in a hole somewhere insignificant to most,

My skin will have gone away. ‘Decomposed’ they call it. And all that will be left of me

The bones, brittling away until they too

Turn to dust.

I know the moment will come. I know it will.

And when it does, I will not wear the Crown of Kings.

I will not pretend that I am not afraid.

I promise you, my voice will shake. 

I will look you in the eyes, next to my dying bed,

And beg you to save me.

For I could never deny myself that worldly gift. That beautiful,

Painful yearning.

I’ll be afraid as if it were a present on Christmas.

I’ll be scared as if it were the only friend I had.

I will cry and cry and cry and

Say “how unfair!” and ask “why me! why me!”

I’ll apologize to the god I never respected and hope

That she pardons me. But even hell is preferential to Oblivion.

Isn’t it so fucking romantic? This human life.

You will die. And everything that will happen to me,

Will happen to you. Embrace that fact. 

Hug it like its the puppy you lost

When you were nine years old. Kiss it like you just

Came home from war. Or prison. Put it in your pocket like it

Is your father’s ashes or your favorite pen. Pretend it is the hand

Of your lover dangling off the cliff of human condition, feet kicking. 

Never let it go.

It will not change your life. It will not save you.

But to know it is enough.